Tomorrow will be the first day of fasting and praying for me.
Of late, God has been laying upon my heart the need to come before Him in total dependence and humility. This means stripping away all my agendas, to-do-list of the day, hidden passions and desires (one of them is certainly food), and coming to Him knowing that He alone is more than enough to provide for my needs. Sometimes, it just breaks my heart that to know of all the things that I do routinely everyday (eg eating, showering, studying), prayer is not part of the list.
I have not actually committed myself to a long period of fasting before. And to be honest, I am quite worried that I might not be able to make it. I am completely inexperienced in this, and it certainly does not help that I am a food-lover. So since this is my first, I would make it slightly easier and attainable. I would wake up early to have breakfast. After breakfast, I would start fasting till evening. During this 'fasting' period though, drinks and fruits are allowed. I know you may think that this is cheating, but I must assure you that even this is super difficult for me. Each day, I would commit to reading of Scripture and praying three times (before breakfast, lunch and before dinner/before i sleep).
The past week, I have been trying to condition myself to follow this exercise. The result? Unsurprisingly miserable. This is really difficult for me. I found myself thinking about food all the time. Well, there is no point in complaining now. I think I would never know how much of God I can trust and cling on to, even in my hunger and struggle, until i step into this 30-day journey.
So Lord, please help me. Truly Jesus said: Men shall not live by bread alone, but by every Word that comes from the mouth of God. I want to believe this, help me to do so.
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