Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Why do bad things happen to good people?


I sit alone in my darkened bedroom staring into blank space for what must have felt like eternity. My heart and mind are a messy wreck, and i keep having flashback to events in the waterfall where Kevin drowned. I have so many questions in my heart surrounding the event, the most important of all  is why has God allowed this to happen?

Kevin's death came as a shock to many of us. He is a faithful and loving husband, a great father, a loyal friend, and a wise mentor to a lot of young people. Many of us simply could not believe God would 'take' someone so young and strong and vibrant with such a bright ministry future ahead of him. I think about Adele, who now has to shoulder the sole responsibility of caring for the two kids. Who will be sharing her joy and holding her hands during her daughter's graduation or son's wedding? I think about Zoe (Kevin's elder daughter), how she must have missed all the bedside stories daddy has been telling her and all the early morning cuddling. I think about of Lukas who has not even turned one, who is still laying peacefully in his cradle, ignorant of all that is going on around him. He must have so many questions about his father when he grows up, and how difficult it would be to grow up without a father, coach and mentor.

I have often heard Christians making things worse by offering contradictory and confusing counsel in the face of life's bedeviling events. God is punishing you. No it's Satan! Neither: God has afflicted you out of love, not punishment, for you've been specially chosen to demonstrate faith. No God wants you healed... So many different answers, yet offering so little comfort to the broken hearted.

I have no idea how to respond to these remarks. In truth, I need answers myself more than anything else. I believe in a heavenly Father who loves his children and wishes good for us all. While I do not believe that God caused this to happen to Kevin, my struggle is why He could have helped Kevin but did not intervene? If God did not protect His people and innocent children who were tortured (while some even cried out to God to save them), how do I have faith that God will protect people close to me?

I don't think i will ever find answers to these unsettling questions, at least not in this life time. This is part of the mystery of living in this broken, fallen world. To think that we would be shielded from life's catastrophic events by the virtue of the fact that we are God's children is, at its best idealistic, and at its worse plain naive. Maybe the only way to protect ourselves is stay out of trouble's way, to micro-manage our lives to eliminate all risks and danger. Even then, we can't run away from diseases and illnesses and cancers, from anxiety and depression - which are things from within us rather than without.

Perhaps the only comfort i take is - Kevin has fought the good fight of faith, and he now stands together with the rest of the saints in the heavenly realm. I believe that he is with Jesus now, standing next to Jesus, holding Jesus's hands, talking with Jesus.. He is the safest and the most beautiful place he could be at, finding eternal rest for his soul, smiling at his family from heaven and interceding for the rest of us.

We will meet again in heaven, my dear brother.


Sunday, November 3, 2013

Devastated...


Am utterly devastated to hear of the loss of a dear brother and friend. Though we have not officially met, I have heard a lot of things about you. Your love for God, people, mission and adventure - they all are a huge inspiration to me. How I wish we were good friends, that we could exchange great conversation and ideas, that i could listen to your life experiences and learn from them. How I wish I was there at the waterfall, who knows, maybe I would be able to find you underneath the water... You will always be in our hearts. Your legacy will live forever. When life on earth ends, we will see you again in heaven, my dear brother.