Three months ago, if you asked me how i envision this period to be, i definitely would not imagine myself nursing an injury that is taking a long time to heal. With Standard Chartered KL marathon two weeks away, i know my dream of toeing the starting line is a near impossibility now.
I injured my right knee (patellofemoral syndrome) four weeks ago after an intensive hill workout. The last time i had this injury was after running Two Oceans Marathon last year, and it took a staggering three months to heal. Since this latest injury, I have not been able to log decent miles with my right knee flaring up each time i run more than 15 minutes. I tried to cross-train by cycling, but my knee would play up after i cycled too. Right now, I am sick worried about the length of time i have sit out waiting for my knee to heal.
I have always thought of running as a very simple activity. You run, then rest, then eat, then sleep, and then you run again. Such cycle of stress and recovery is a timeless, age-old principle that is at the heart of the sport. I did not pay much attention to strengthening exercises, stretching, compression wear, yoga/pilates, ice-bath etc, although each of these activities are essential elements of a successful training season. Maybe it's pride, maybe it's lack of discipline, or maybe it's sheer stupidity, that i actually think that i don't need them. I thought my body could cope without them. I thought I could still train at the intensity that i did, without coming up with a damn good strategy to recover. I could not have been more wrong.
Now i have a lot to change in my approach toward running. I have to start thinking about the various ways to improve and even speed up my recovery. Due to my poor flexibility, and the multiple muscles imbalances throughout the body that i have, I have got extra work to do to strengthen the muscles and improve the flexibility. Another big mistake that i made was the mismatch between intensity and volume. Prior to this injury, I was increasing in intensity without deceasing the volume. It's really important to strike a balance between intensity and volume. Finally it's pure common sense of not running (to me, this is the hardest) when i am injured to allow the body to heal, rather than still powering through the road ignoring the pain in the legs. This is a complete no brainer. Better save the day for resting than to lose many days ahead for worsening injuries.
It's not a good feeling when you have put in so much effort at something, only to helplessly see it slip away. To see the body gradually weaken and muscle atrophy with each passing day, there is a lot of frustration, self-doubt, and anger in the process. Just a few days ago in a regular club training session, I was sitting at the sideline watching all the other runners run. How i wish i could join them. It's really a humbling experience, to know that the body - ultimately is a finite being. But i guess everyone has got to learn somewhere. There is indeed no better way to learn than through a crippling injury. In this period, i am forced to rest, to reflect on the mistakes, and to change my stubborn and foolish ways and naive understanding of my body.
Undeniably I questioned God's goodness in this period. Somehow i just could not stop myself from thinking that if He was good, He could have prevented it from happening. (even though i know this is entirely my fault for not paying attention to the body). I am really sorry Lord, for being so childish and stubborn. I know You have the best plans. I just have not seen it or understood it yet. I thank You everyday for Your love for us, which is far better than anything else in this world. Help me cling on to You each day.
I know the best thing for me to do is to allow my knee to heal completely, and then start training again - this time with more common sense. I can't afford to look back, or dwell on the opportunity missed or on regrets. I must move forward. Through these injuries, I have a much better understanding of my body now. My dear friends, please pray for me, that God would strengthen my inner being to cope with it. Pray that God would heal me, and allow me to run again. Most importantly, pray that i can run for His glory all the days of my life.
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| Running with Tylana, an ultra-runner physiotherapist |
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| Andrew Bowen and I (at the peak of Mt Tinbeerwah) |
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| Queens' birthday (public holiday) - staying at home instead of spending time running on the trail |
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