(T - 2) days

I went for a run this evening. I felt much better and refreshed after the run. It wasn't that I was able to straighten my thinking or come to some sort of enlightenment about the interview during the run. In fact I achieved neither. It was just simply being able to get out there, getting my mind off the interview, and doing something that I love that helped me feel better.

Why am I so worried about the interview?  My colleague made a casual comment this week saying: 'Ah jimmy, don't be so stressed. I am sure you will do fine.' I thought to myself. Of course I will be fine. But the point is not about being fine. The point is about having a perfect interview. Only a perfect interview would give us a reasonable chance of getting into the programme.

I am sure i am not the only person thinking of it this way. And here lies the source of all stress and anxiety.

Stressful times like bring me closer to God, as it always does. When i have come to the end of myself, the only person i can go to is God. Obviously there is a hypocritical component to this, in that i only go to God when i am in deep need. Other times, i just lead my own life the way i wanted to. It feels like i am only 'using' God to help to advance my career. But this is, of course, not entirely true. I also go to God for comfort, for guidance, and to find rest when i am heavy-laden. Like a little child who has lost his way, or has nowhere else to go, I run to God.

I think the thing i need to be most concerned now is not the final outcome, neither should i be worried about things like: Will God bless me? Am i holy enough for God to bless me? Or should i spend more time with Him so He would bless me? These questions, while valid and are very human, focus on me utilising God for my own purpose rather God using us for His purpose.

I need to focus on a few truths instead.

First, God loves me and has given His Son to die for me. (John 3:16)

Second, God has a plan and purpose for my life, plans to prosper me and not to harm me. (Jeremiah 29:11)

Third, God's timing is perfect (Ecclesiastes 3). If i don't get on, it will only be because i am not ready, and that there are things God wants me to learn and experience He wants me to have before getting into the programme.

Fourth, I can go in His confidence and do my best for His glory (Philippians 4:13 & 1 Corinthians 10:31).

I surrender it to Him.

They keep me going