SET interview (T - 4 days)

Next Tuesday I am attending an interview for the surgical education training (SET) programme. This is the final hurdle, after curriculum vitae scoring (15%) and referee report scoring (60%). This is where trainees are subjected to a series of questions in a broad range of topics to decide suitability and aptitude for the programme. During the interview, you come face to face with very experienced surgeons, where you can't hide your defects in knowledge, nervousness and lack in experience. 5 stations. 10 minutes in each station.

Last year, around ~500 people across Australia applied,  ~400 people were short-listed for interview, and 54 people were selected into the programme. This year, approximately ~300 plus applicants across Australia applied, 150 were short-listed for interview, and eventually only 50 people will be selected for the programme.

It's been an extremely difficult week for me. Somehow I just felt I am not in a good mental shape to attend the interview. I have been doing some reading and practice with friends, and my answers always come short. I am not able to think of an intelligent answer on time, much less structure my answer properly in a concise and clear manner. What comes out is usually just a random ball of mess.

I just don't believe I belong there. I felt like I don't deserve the interview. I felt others who have worked hard deserved more than me. I am frightened. I am frightened by the fact that i will be staring at the interviewers with my mind go blank on the interview day.

Time is running out. I have 4 days to get my shit together. 4 more days to D day. I am still in a mess. I need a breakthrough in my mind and spirit. Lord, I desperately need You to come through for me.