Injuries and grace

The past week has been a roller-coaster ride for me. My knees were giving me a lot of problems throughout the week. Initially it was my left knee. Just when it got better, my right knee decided that it too, wants to create problem.

I feel like there is a constant enmity between me and injuries. They just won't let me go. I have tried a lot of methods and preventive measures, still i am haunted by injuries! Sadly i am not blessed with good bio-mechanics, and my muscles and all their attachments and interactions with surrounding structures are just a complex meshwork of mess. Poor flexibility, muscles imbalances, and slowness of my muscles to relax/recover are amongst some of the main reasons why i am always injured. I felt like i have already done a lot to modify my lifestyle, diet, training volume, but the intrinsic factors eg body bio-mechanic and muscle physiology, are frustratingly beyond my control.

Still there are positive sides to injuries. Each time i get injured, i am forced to look deep in my body and learn more about it. The whole leg is linked by a kinetic chain - from glutes in the butt, to the quads and hamstrings in the thigh, to the knee, to calves muscles and anterior tibialis in the lower leg, to the ankle, to the plantar fascia in the foot. Injury to one point, or tightness or spasms, will result in other parts working hard to compensate for it. I have learned that the site of pain is often not where the real problem is. It's only the reflection of compensation and imbalances that are at work leading to the final outcome, which is injury.

More importantly, injuries allow me to turn to my heavenly Father for comfort.

I have learned that you either trust Him whole-heartedly that He knows your pain and wants the best for you, or you don't trust Him at all. Half-heartedly trust is really no trust because you are in a place of conflict where your so-called 'faith' is constantly bombarded with doubts. To me, resting in my Father's presence and His love is the most comforting thing. David prayed: 'He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High, will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord,  'My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.' Psalms 91:1-2.

I had yet another massive encounter with the grace of God this week. During the weekend, i joined the Relay for Life walk to raise fund for cancer. The walk started at 3pm, and was going to end at 9am the following day. I arrived at 11.15pm, and my initial plan was to run all night and see how far i could go. Within the first hour of my run, my right knee was decidedly unhappy with my endeavour and it started hurting really badly. I had to stop. I was almost at the verge of tears and I desperately asked God to intervene. I asked my pastor (who was there since 3pm) to pray for me too. I did some stretching and massaging of my hamstring, knowing that that's the culprit for my knee ailment. It's too tight, causing mal-alignment of my knee-cap resulting in mal-tracking in its groove when i run (known as Runner's knee, or patello-femoral syndrome). After a while, I started testing it out again. I managed half an hour of running before the pain became glaringly apparent. I stopped again for further stretching. In my heart, I was crying out to God to help me. 'Does lightning ever strike twice?', was the question i had in my mind. I was already very grateful that God healed me the week before, was i too greedy or naive to believe God for another miracle?

As i continued running, I could feel my hamstring becoming more relaxed, thereby allowing the knee-cap to return to its normal groove. The pain slowly subsided. I was speechless after a while. I know, with all my heart, that it's the hand of God. Of all injuries, Runner's knee is my most feared one as it takes an awfully long time to heal. That day, God touched my legs and allowed the pain to ease off so that i could continue running.

So i kept running and running. I stopped every hour for drinks, gel, food and to do some stretching.

The sun came out at about 5.30am. I was still running.

Finally I stopped at 8am. Completing 80km in around 8hours30mins (total running time is around 7hrs45mins). I was done. Finished. Overwhelmed. Grateful. And joyful. Throughout the whole time, a lot of people in the showground gave me a lot of encouragement. Some ran with me for a while. Some cheered me on. I was very grateful for their support.

Now.. Two days after the long run, both my knees are still very sore and i haven't been able to run a step without feeling pain. Haha.. The price i paid for foolishness. Yet the grace of God came to me freely without any price! Actually this is not true. The price was the life of Jesus - which He gave up in dying in the cross for the sins of the world.

I know my dream of running TMBT is almost officially over, given that I have Patellofemoral syndrome (Runner's knee) of both my knees. Somehow, I am not as sad as i thought i would be. I believe in my Father in heaven. I trust His heart. :)

An artist's impression of the Relay for Life

Another of his painting. Can you spot where i am? (clue: close to the olympics sign :D)

Hope, without which we are nothing. 

Guess where i am in this painting? (Clue: The only person who is running! :D :D :D)

Photo with Aunty Thana and her mixed Caucasian-Indian kids

Trust His Heart

All things work for our good,
though sometimes we don't see how they could.
Struggles that break our hearts in two,
sometimes blind us to the truth.
Our Father knows what's best for us,
His ways are not our own.
So when your pathway grows dim,
and you just don't see him, 
Remember your never alone.

Chorus:

God is too wise to be mistaken.
God is too good to be unkind.
So when you don't understand,
When don't see his plan,
When you can't trace his hand,
Trust His Heart.

He sees the master plan,
He holds the future in his hand. 
So don't live as those who have no hope, 
ALL our hope is found in him.
We see the present clearly,
He sees the first and last.
And like a tapestry He's weaving you and me, 
To someday be just like him.

*Listen to the song above by clicking to title of the song. Enjoy. :)