Taking a break

My running season for the year 2012 is officially over. What an exciting journey with lots of ups and downs. Through it all, i saw clearly how the Hand of God was with me every step of the way, even at times when i let my weaknesses get the better of me. He allowed me to go through injuries, to teach me humility and for me to rely on Him and Him alone. He also is kind enough to allow me to experience some success, and i know this comes not by my own effort, but solely by His grace alone.

Northface 100 Singapore, which was held last weekend, drained every ounce of energy from me. I have never ran a night race before, therefore adjusting to sleep deprivation (the race started at 11pm) and running on technical trail with just a small amount of light were a real challenge. On top of that, i had to deal with nutritional and hydration issues, heat and humidity, and stomach woes in the race. If not for my family who were there to support me, i would have quit the race much earlier in the race. I am glad i managed to finish the race, even if it meant some really slow time in the last 10km of the race. (i will post TNF 100 race report later on when i have time).

I have learned that, running in the dark, is very much like experiencing dark night of the soul in spiritual sense. Everything seemed bleak, and i kinda felt boxed into a confined space, making very slow and cautious progress along the way. With the emotional stress that i was experiencing, i could hardly pray. All the while, my usual long-winded prayer was reduced down to a simple: 'God, help me...'. I did not have any mental space left to think about the situation i was in, or recite bible verses, or formulate a nice-sounding prayer. I only had energy to place one foot on top the other, while simultaneously pray: 'God, help me...'.

Now as i look back, even though i did not experience a miraculous restoration of energy, i did manage to complete the race. It helped me realise that sometimes His grace manifests in subtle ways, ways in which we did not expect. We expect fires coming from heaven, or a earth-shaking experience, or in a whirl-wind, but God was not in any of these. He was in the still small voice, in gentle whispers, and it's easy to not hear it sometimes. (1 King 19:11-13).

Now that my running season is over, there are things which i want to focus on for the rest of the year. First and foremost, it's my wedding preparation. My gf and fiance has been very gracious for me to spend most of my time training and racing, so now I definitely want to put my heart and soul into making the wedding a special and memorable one.

Secondly, i want to focus on publishing a research paper. Attending the General Surgeon Scientific meeting in Tasmania in September this year opened my eyes to a huge variety of surgical concepts and ideas. I have just been introduced to a world of endless learning and possibilities. Now my registrar and i have a goal to work toward to complete the paper by the end of this year.

I will still be running often, just not in the same intensity that i was doing in the past 4-6 months. Now that there is no more agenda in my training, i hope to experience God in a brand new ways.

I have made some good friends through running this year, like Ford, Jeri, Anders, Allan Lee, Fish Chia, FRIM runners, Thomas, Fred, and many others i have come to know through facebook. All of them are amazing characters that i admire and love to be with. Keep your passion burning ever brighter!

Hope to meet some of you in the trails some day! :D