Pre-race thoughts

Running long distance, otherwise known as endurance running or ultra running, has always been something that I really enjoy. I enjoy the quiet, still moment of just placing one foot ahead of the other, letting the mind slow down and be filled with the presence and knowledge of God, allowing Holy Spirit to take hold of my thoughts and steps, engaging in a conversation with Jesus that’s sometimes casual and sometimes deep, and interceding for people that God has placed in my heart at that point in time. Of course, this does not happen all the times. Sometimes I could run for a long time without sensing God, usually because I was too distracted with the things of the world. But when I do, I return home feeling recharged, refreshed and revived.

You may ask: If that’s the reason why I run, then why do i bother taking part in races? Why compete with other people when I can just run in my backyard in my own time? The most honest answer I can come up with is: Racing is a much-needed catalyst in an otherwise mundane routine of just running in my backyard. Remove the competitive aspect of racing, racing actually gives me a goal, pushes me to train hard, have more discipline, have better time management, set aside time apart from working and studying to spend more time with God through running, and simulates a crisis situation where I am put to the test and have to work hard to overcome. This is especially so in a 100km race. Everyone can do a 10km or 21km race or even a marathon. To do 100km (or 100 miles) takes you to another realm of running altogether.  It brings you to the spiritual realm, where you have to have to dig deep to find strength and courage you never knew was there. For me, this is where the battle really is.

I readily confess that I signed up for TMBT for competitive reason. A part of me wants to test my own limit, to see how far I can go, and how I stack up against the other ultra-runners, locally and from overseas. But I know that if I let this be the sole motivating factor for me to race, it would displease God. So I prayed that He would change my heart so I would run with the right reasons. Little did I know that this meant I would have one injury after another. Haha! (Lesson: Be careful with what you pray for, you never knew what God has in store for you!) God has definitely humbled me in this process, and I came to see how limited I am in terms of my running abilities, and how obsessively absorbed I was with racing. 3 weeks before TMBT, I was down with Runner’s knees for both my knees, and this effectively ended my hope of running the race. A part of me had to resign to the fact that this is the price I have to pay for foolishness, and racing for the wrong reasons. Still in the deep recesses of my heart, I was secretly praying for miracle and hoping God would heal me.

I remembered a story in the book Judges, where Gideon was leading 32000 soldiers in a battle against the Midianites and Amalekites. It was a crucial battle which would decide the destiny of the Israelites. Before the battle, God told Gideon to release those who are fearful. The number of soldiers was down to 10000. To think that this is a crazy move on God’s part, God asked Gideon to release more soldiers. The final number was 300. The reason God gave to Gideon? 'Lest Israel boast over me saying: My own hand has saved me'. (Judges 7:2) God wanted Israel to rely on His strength rather than their own.

I could have had a flawless preparation leading to TMBT and toed the starting line in the most ideal condition. But this would mean I would drift further away from God’s purpose for me in running, and rely fully on my own strength instead. God was ‘kind’ enough to ‘break my limp’ (like what he did to Jacob) in order that I would rely on Him.

I received a gentle prompting in my spirit before TMBT, and this sums up the reason why I decided to run despite not being in 100%. I renounced all spirit of pride and competitiveness in me prior the race, I was to run and pray for the villages that I would be running by. To pray that God’s glory would be made manifest in these villages, and people would come to know the saving grace of Jesus in their lives. I will run and pray till I can run no more.

I am immersely grateful for the love and support from my gf. I think all the wives (& husbands), or girlfriends (& boyfriends), or friends of runners know, and can identify that there is a fierce stubbornness in all the runners which make them seem like a crazy bunch of people caught up in a meaningless pursuit in this incredibly boring sport of running. From initially being resistant to my running because I spent too much time and thinking about running, my gf has become very understanding and supportive toward my passion for running. When all seemed bleak prior to TMBT, she was the one who reminded me God made me run for a reason and she firmly believed that I would be able to finish the race. When I asked her how she knows, she said Holy Spirit told her. And she told me she would be waiting for me at the finish line. :)

Sorry if this offends some of you readers. I don’t mean to put you off with this religious-sounding post. This is my honest sharing, and I think it’s the least I can do in my present circumstances.

Having dinner in Little Italy 3 days before the run. Pasta and pizza are my favourite pre-race meal! 

Checking into Strawberry Garden Hotel in Kundasang

Nice and comfy :D

Unloading our gears. (My brother and I)

What a mess! 

Did a test run a day before the race. My left knee was not happy with this test. 

Writing my pre-race thoughts (& icing my knee at the same time :D)

Bumped into Jiri (last year's 100km winner) on the way to the registration hall

My love