Saturday, April 27, 2013

Treading in the path of extremism


‘The purpose of a man’s heart is like deep water, but a man of understanding will draw it out.’ Proverbs 20:5

'A man’s steps are from the Lord; how then can man understand his way?' Proverbs 20:24


             The following post is not meant for runners and it’s mainly a sharing of what i am going through spiritually. It may confound Christians and make it seem like I am straying away from God but trust me, this is not the case.
  
              Lately I have been doing a lot of thinking during my run. Is the way I train healthy? Is there a place for competitive running for Christians? Or am I merely striving after wind or chasing my own goals apart from what Christ has for me?  Have I been too extreme in my pursuit of my own hobby? There are no easy answers to these. As there are always two sides to a coin, I can also argue in two different ways. But that’s not really what I am getting at.  I think what I am really asking is: Is God pleased with me and what I am doing? 

              I think about the hours that I put into running and the amount of discipline and sacrifice required.  They are massive. What would God say about them all? If I were to speak liberal, high-achieving modern day Christians, they would probably assure me it’s fine to pursue my own dream, that God gave me this talent for it to be nurtured, that I should do my best to glorify Him (these are the same group of Christians that you see in Australian idol or the X-factor). If I speak to the opposite camp – the conservative, dogmatic group of evangelical Christians, many would undoubtedly comment on how pointless it is to do what I am doing and how my time could have been better spent in reading the bible, praying, being involved in ministry and God’s work (as if running and ministering to fellow runners is not a form of God’s work). In their minds, running, like many other worldly passions, is to be avoided if one is to be serious about his discipleship in Christ.

                If the latter were right, how then would the world know about godly characters such as Eric Liddel (400m Olympic Gold medallist in 1924) and Ryan Hall (current American marathon record-holder), who spent countless hours training in the track and on the road and who, in my knowledge, are both furiously in love with God and His Kingdom’s purpose? How else would the world ever witness the intelligent, genius works of Galileo, Pascal, Newton, Faraday, Paul Brand who also spent numerous hours in their own field of work, studying, experimenting, observing, deducing etc.? Are they guilty of serving two masters – Christ and science, or sport, or medicine? 

Ryan Hall
Eric Liddell
Paul Brand (a missionary doctor who, despite multiple invitations to lead orthopaedic departments or research centres of some of the world's renowned hospitals, decided to spend a third of his career in India working with patients with leprosy)
                If ‘Seek ye first the Kindgom of God and His righteousness’ is strictly interpreted as reading the bible and Christian literature only and doing God’s work in the most traditional sense (i.e serving one another in church, or evangelising to strangers on the street), then many other sincere Christians would be discounted in their service to Christ in their workplace. It is true that if you have interest elsewhere, you may not have as much time reading His Word as compared to say, a person who is a full-time bible college student (a person can only do that much). I will also admit that because of the time I spend in work, studying and running, I don’t have as much time in reading the bible as I would like. But, that doesn’t mean I don’t love God as much, or these things (medicine and running) are more important than God.

              Somehow, it seems like our interpretation of the type of godly activity/work is very much limited to our narrow worldview. If we don’t like music or charismatic worship, we question why other churches are having worship like that of a rock concert with so much noise and lighting. If we don’t appreciate art, we would undermine the Catholic’s emphasis on expression of art in their church architecture. The truth is, God gives each of us a special element of Himself for us to bring it to full expression. Be it art, science, sport, music, they are all special and should be redeemed for His purpose.

               If only you could sneak a peak into the lives of these successful, outstanding folks, to see how they think, to understand what makes them so different from you, and to see that through all of it, they are still very much in love with God. They all work extremely hard, sometimes to the point of obsession (or else how can they be top leaders of their field?), but always guided by biblical principles, as they try their best to balance time between work and spending devoted time with God, though very imperfectly. They are nurturing the gift that God has given them in the most spectacular way, so that the world may see and be amazed by the extraordinariness of God’s people.

                The thing is, if you are only average at your work (I am not saying this in an arrogant or derogatory sense but as matter-of-factly), it will be hard for you to appreciate the heart behind these geniuses. After all, you probably think that it’s good enough for you to be able to recite bible verses and discuss some abstract topics like God’s omnipotence and omniscience, or the subject of free will or salvation on a table with other theologians. Or to end or begin all your conversation with ‘praise God’, ‘thank God’, ‘God will look after you’. Or to cling around Christians only in your holy huddle-muddle and be proud of your Christian accomplishment or service.

              Spiritual maturity is not measured in theological scholarlistic achievement, though meditating God’s Word does play a huge role in keeping you in line with God’s purpose and statutes. It’s the way you live your life, the motivation behind the things that you do, the purpose which you wake up for, how deeply you’d loved, how bravely you’d fought, that you will be judged for when Christ comes again.
  
               Coming back to why I wrote this post… To be very honest, i am not 100% sure if God is pleased with what i am doing. I don't want to be presumptive over this issue and think that my pursuit of this hobby can somehow be 'justified' because i make it sound like it is for God's glory. I fully understand that the heart is deceitful above all things (Jeremiah 17:9), and often times i can't even discern my own motives. There are only three things i can be sure. 1) I love running, 2) I want to do well in it, and 3) I want to do it God's ways and with His strength and wisdom. The challenge then, is for me to remain God-centred and constantly be abiding in Him.

                I know I don’t have a lot of time left in competitive running. Competitive running is taking a lot of hours from my life such that I won’t be able to sustain for a long time (During peak season, I train on average 8-10 hours a week). Next year will probably be my last. Raymun and I still have the massive project of running across Malaysia at the end of next year, which at this point I am not sure if it will come to past. If we are doing the project for self-centred reasons - to fulfil our desire and love for running, then we might as well forget it. We can run in our backyard for this. The only reason big enough for us to pour in our time and effort in planning the entire project is if we could use it to invest into the lives of our fellow countrymen, in helping them understand more about their health.

                My wife and I will have kids one day. When that day comes, I want to focus my time on being a father to them. When Rachel is cooking, instead heading out for a run, I want to sit with them to look after them and sing songs with them. When they are old enough, I want to bring them out for camping and hiking, and to show them a glimpse of God’s glorious creations, to tell them beautiful bible stories and make it real and applicable to them. If they are keen to pick up running, then perhaps we have some common ground to work on!

                Dear Father, bring me to my knees. Bring me back to You when i have strayed away. Hide me in Your love. Preserve me in the midst of trials and temptations. I want to run in the path of Your command, for you have set me free. In Jesus' name, Amen. 

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Pinnacle Classic


This is my first official race of the season and I was very excited to see where i stand amongst a field of talented and experienced runners. Pinnacle Classic is extremely intense race with 18 hills to tackle in the course of 18km, hence before the race i have been logging a lot of miles in hilly terrain to prepare my legs for the uphill onslaught.

Prior  to the race, i knew the big three would be there: Ben Duffus (a young 20 year-old guy who has been winning all the races he joined and breaking course records at the same time. His PB for 5000m is 15:35), Caine Warburton (PB of 16:01 in 5000m who has been winning multiple ultra and middle distance races in the last 2 years), and Dave Coombs (the winner of Pinnacle Classic in 2011).

All of these did not matter when the whistle went off, when i led the charge to attack the first hill. I decided that i was going to run with them for as long as i could possibly sustain. I was able to run the first 4-5km next to them, but after that I started to feel I was not able to power up the hills the same way they did. At that time, my heart rate was sitting dangerously high at 171-180. Fearing that i might bonk in the second half, i decided to let them go and i would focus on running my own race. There were lots of cyclists then, and though they blazed past us with their road bike in the downhill, I was able to wheel them in, and even overtake them during the uphill.

I passed the half way point (9km) at 42 minutes. I thought the worst was over, and from then on it would be mostly downhill all the way. I could not have been more wrong. It was downhill for 500m, and then uphill for 200m, down for 600m and up for another 300m. So we continued on in this undulating terrain. Some of the uphills in the second half were extremely steep, and i had to switch on hands-on-knee hiking posture in a couple of occasions.

Unfortunately, going out too fast in the first half meant that my mental and psychological reserve were running low in the second half. I was overtaken by 2 guys in the last 5km (one at approx 13km mark and the other at 16km mark) and i just had no extra energy left to chase them. I mustered whatever i had left to ensure i finish hard and well, in 6th place, with a time of 1:27:27, and a total elevation gain of 790m according to my Suunto Ambit watch. (See the move here). The top three finished in 1:17, 1:19 and 1:21 accordingly.

All in all, it has been a great day out in the trail. Though I think i may have done better in my pacing and uphill running, I am pleased with the performance and i look forward to running with these guys again.
ME leading the charge in the beginning
The top three runners - who are all part of the Kokoda Racing Spirit team
2km more to go (i was eventually overtaken by the topless guy behind)
Male (Ben Duffus) and female winner


Saturday, April 6, 2013

A new beginning and a new season (part 2)


For the past 2 months i have remained largely inactive in blogging, my apology for that. This is mainly because i am now a married man, which means i don't have the luxury of time as i would when i was single. Here is just an update of what has been going on lately.

Last month Rachel finally arrived in Australia, and we have moved to a 30-acre farm house in Mt Mee. The owner of the house is paediatric neurologist from the Royal Children Hospital who loves animals. She suffered a silent subdural haemorrhage (bleeding in the brain) which has taken her off work for the rest of the year, so she is spending most of her time here in Mt Mee building a hospice for the really ill children and their families. There are all kinds of animals in this house - Chickens, Guinea Fell (a type of bird), horses, cattles, piglets (to arrive soon), dogs etc. And each morning and evening, Rachel and i had to take turn to feed them. Coming from a nice, comfortable, clean and cosy home in KL, it was a big change for Rachel. Adjusting to a completely foreign environment with a completely different culture has not been easy. She had to spend most her time cleaning up the house, sweeping and mopping the floor, cleaning the kitchen, the bathroom, cooking etc (which again is something that she is not used to). I feel really really sorry for all that she has to go through, and i am really proud that she has been doing her best to stay strong in this period, despite being far away from home and needing to deal with all the household chores.

So what's my current routine like with this new life? I go off to work at 6.25am, come home at around 4pm, spend time with Rachel till around 5.30-6pm, and then i would head for a run (usually an hour) in the dark whilst Rachel prepares dinner, have dinner at 7pm, and then we would spend the rest of the night together. Now that I am in a different phase of life, marriage obviously takes priority over work and running so i only head off for a run if it doesn't eat into our time together (like when she is cooking or sleeping). This means doing most of my run in the evening on week days (in the dark), or early in the morning on weekends whilst she is still sleeping.

I have always dreaded running in the dark. My head-torch went out of battery in a number of occasions such that i had to rely on moonlight to provide me with some lighting on the road. Living in this part of the country also means that there is hardly any street light at all. Hence it has been a eerie and chilly experience, especially when i run past cemetery. Given that I don't have much of a choice, I really have to adjust to being comfortable running in the dark. There were times where i felt a deep sense of peace and calmness, like God is watching over my every footstep and lighting up the way with the stars and moon when my torch has gone off, and those were rare moments. Most times, i am at the edge of my nerve and is hypersensitive to every kind of noise i hear along the way. :( 

Work-wise, i am almost coming to the end of my surgical rotation. This surgical rotation has truly been phenomenal! I have been able to do a lot more in the ward, outpatient and theatre. My bosses and registrars have trusted me enough to allow me to assume responsibility that is beyond my current level of expertise, and this has given me a lot of confidence in tackling more difficult tasks and complicated cases. More than that, it also gave me a strong affirmation that i am on a correct training path, that Surgery is the way to go for me (considering the fact that i have always wanted to be a physician as a student). I have also finished writing up a paper on a case of bilateral obturator hernia and it's now pending publication. I am very grateful to all my colleagues, especially my registrars for teaching me and guiding me in this career pathway. Though there is a hiccup recently in my work, which resulted in me being reprimanded publicly and unfairly by a senior colleague (who himself has demeaning attitude and questionable work ethic), i am thankful for the support that all the other colleagues have shown me. On my personal level, I had learned that there are bitter people in every Specialty (esp in surgery) who are jealous of the progress that others are making, and are out to create obstacles and make life difficult for everyone. God, please give me the strength to forgive him, and the wisdom to learn to deal with difficult colleagues in the future. 

That's all for now. :)


At Pittstop (overlooking Dayboro)



Celebrating Rachel's 27th birthday in Sunshine Coast



Went for a bicycle ride together



Aster (Rachel's sister) came up for a vist



Don't they look alike?



Rachel's new friend - Adena who is a horse-lover



Louise and i



Horse-riding!



Welcome a new member of Tee family - Emin *Dong dong dong*





Best mates - Eli and Joel (my nephews)


Saying Bye to Rachel. She has left for home for a month :(